The art of living well: subtract the obvious, add the meaningful
3 Mental Shifts to Rise Above Anything, Inspired by Ancient Greek Wisdom
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The art of living well
Everyone wants to be happy and live a good life, but not everyone takes the time to understand what that truly means for them. When we don't reflect on what really need for a fulfilling life, we often end up with a longer list of things we want—things that only make life more complicated.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all,” Oscar Wilde said. Life often feels overwhelming and unfulfilling if you over-extend yourself with unnecessary things, obligations or activities that aren’t as important as you think. Living well means simplifying your commitments and eliminating anything that doesn’t bring you true value or fulfilment — while simultaneously focusing on adding meaningful habits, experiences and activities that bring out the best in you.
Havelock Ellis was right when he said, “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” Living well is not something that happens to you; you choose to do it on purpose. It’s a deliberate lifestyle choice we can all work toward regardless of our circumstances.
The choices you make today have a much more profound impact on your character, personal relationships and overall quality of life now and in the future. If you want to be happy and live a long, fulfilled life, then living well is essential. Living well is about finding joy in simple but meaningful experiences in life. The good news is you don’t have to earn a top ten per cent income to experience a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life.
To live a good life also means consciously prioritising activities that will leave you feeling fulfilled and happy and subtracting non-essential tasks, experiences and activities that take us on a path of misery and stress. A good example is enjoying an artistic performance instead of upgrading an already great phone; while both offer satisfaction, they don’t offer the same kind of stimulation and emotions.
Therefore, developing our existential values is essential for building a happy life instead of merely having life goals. “The really important thing is not to live, but to live well. And to live well meant, along with more enjoyable things in life, to live according to your principles,” Socrates said.
Our life values and bigger “whys” act as our guiding principles and help us live according to who we want to become rather than just how circumstances demand us to behave. The best way to get personal answers to live well is by asking ourselves questions about everything from small daily experiences such as lunch with friends or reading a book to large-scale activities like a dream holiday.
Less and meaningful is not just more; it’s a better approach to a good life
“Aspire not to have more, but to be more,” Archbishop Oscar Romero said.
The key to a better life is to live a less-is-more kind of lifestyle; fewer things and more experiences make you come alive. The art of subtraction is about increasing your capacity for happiness in the long term instead of using things for temporary thrills or excitement in the present moment.
Career and financial goals have their place in life, but if you want something of existential significance (a much more meaningful life outside of work and money), you must look beyond the obvious. The one factor that might be even more important is actively learning more about what could make you happy if you had no career or financial success. Life may be a collection of events, but you have a specific role if you want to influence it to make it fulfilling for you.
Living well can be as simple as committing more time to meaningful personal experiences you deeply care about. Instead of focusing on what you can’t have or doing things just for the sake of it, choose instead to focus on activities outside work that means the world to you — it doesn’t have to make sense to others.
The secret to a good life is not what you have but what you enjoy
“Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time,” says Viktor E. Frankl.
Life is a series of small moments, and these moments are what make up our lives. The small things add up to create a bigger picture. So, how do you live your life to the fullest? First, subtract the obvious and unnecessary elements from your life. Then add in the meaningful things that make your life worth living.
The obvious things are the ones most people can relate to; overpriced hotels, dozens of subscriptions that offer practically the same thing, spending time with toxic people, buying to please others, and emotional spending just to feel happy in the moment.
These things are necessary for an overly complicated lifestyle that tends to stress us. However, they don’t necessarily mean much in and of themselves. They’re just parts of the bigger picture society invented. Meaningful elements are those that truly matter. They give your life a vital dimension and help you appreciate everything else you have in your life because they are not obvious or common to everyone else.
Examples of meaningful experiences include:
Hobbies that feed your soul.
Interests that bring you joy every time you’re engaged with them.
Activities or sports that keep you active.
Connecting with other people who enrich your existence.
Places where you feel at home.
Causes that make the world a better place for others.
Books or music that inspire and uplift you.
Nature as a reminder of being one with it all and
Community involvement as a means of giving back to society.
Happiness is not just about the physical pleasures in life. It’s also about being content with where you are in your life, embracing the growth mindset, and investing in connections and events you value most in life.
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude,” argues Denis Waitley.
Living well requires conscious effort on your part. It’s an investment of time. A deliberate effort to live a better life. It’s also a personal journey. You are the only one responsible for that trajectory in life. And remember what Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Live well, learn plenty, laugh often, love much.”
Food for thought
3 Mental Shifts to Rise Above Anything, Inspired by Ancient Greek Wisdom [Free read on Medium]
Shift 2: Seek “paideia” in the pain.
The ancient Greeks valued “paideia,” — education, discipline, and character development. They believed challenges, even painful ones, offered opportunities for paideia. Think of Odysseus, who wandered for years, trying to return home after the famous Trojan War. He lost his ship and crew. His trials and setbacks were not just obstacles but lessons in resilience, cunning, and self-knowledge.
When you think of what makes us human, would you say it’s our powers of prediction? I probably wouldn’t have, at least not until my conversation with Mark Miller, a philosopher of cognition and research fellow at both the University of Toronto and Monash University in Melbourne. He studies how new ideas about the mind can provide insight into human well-being. Prediction is clearly useful: Being able to anticipate the future helps us strategize in the present.
Executive performance coach Julie Gurner on the power of better questions:
“The questions you ask yourself will largely determine the answers you get.
“Why am I not successful?” You’ll get answers that berate you.
“How can I succeed here?” You’ll get answers that push you.
Be deliberate in the questions you ask yourself.”
Roman philosopher Musonius Rufus on long-term thinking:
“If you accomplish something good with hard work, the labor passes quickly, but the good endures; if you do something shameful in pursuit of pleasure, the pleasure passes quickly, but the shame endures.”
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Thanks for reading!
Until next week,
Thomas
Medium | All Courses | The Write Life | Philosophy For Modern Life
Postanly Weekly is now a reader-supported publication. To support my work, you can upgrade to a paid subscription for $7 per month or $40 for an entire year. With a modest yearly contribution you’re not only helping keep Postanly Weekly going, you also get free access to Thinking Toolbox (mental models for life) and Mental Wealth Toolbox (practical concepts for smarter decisions).