5 life rules everyone knows, but only a few follow
These 15 important truths will teach you more than reading 100 books
Together with SonderMind
The best hack to success? Better mental health.
- SonderMind is the leading all-in-one mental wellness solution that offers:
- Affordable therapy and psychiatry services
- Self-care content like guided meditations
- AI-enhanced features like daily reflections
Now onto today’s post.
I have questions.
Why do some people glide gracefully through life, leaving trails of light and laughter in their wake? And why do others stumble along, perpetually frustrated and unfulfilled?
What separates these two paths?
Are some people simply luckier, born with a charmed existence? Or is there a hidden code, a set of unspoken life rules, that only the “wise ones” follow?
Life rules are complicated.
People play by different rules. But there are fundamental rules top performers use to guide their actions. They may be less comfortable for you. But it pays to know them, though. Or better still, knowing what works for those who are winning is essential.
“Two basic rules of life are: 1) Change is inevitable. 2) Everybody resists change.” — W. Edwards Deming
Most people never learn the many rules of life. They choose to do the same things over and over again but expect different results.
That’s insanity, says Einstein.
“By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game,” author Grenville Kleiser said. The rules below are not secrets.
They are common, but they are easily missed, drowned out by the distractions of expectations, societal pressures, and the seductive noise of our insecurities. They don’t guarantee a life free from challenges. But they can empower you to make conscious choices, build better habits and take ownership of the trajectory of your life.
1. Life’s competition with a spectrum of definitions
It’s a painful thing to believe, but in reality, it’s true. We are all players trying to make our way and win the complicated game of life.
But winning takes on many forms.
It can be the exhilaration of surpassing your limits, the profound joy of forging deep connections with others, the quiet satisfaction of mastering a skill, getting a job, or signing a new client. It can also be the impact you make on the world, the legacy you leave behind, and the simple act of living each day with purpose and passion.
“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. “ — Confucius
There’s no right or wrong path, no mandatory leaderboard. In truth, you should compete with yourself — to get better or become a great version of yourself. Nobody needs to lose for you to win.
Instead of fixating on a singular definition of winning, take on the freedom to define your victories. Redefine success not as an end goal but as a continuous journey of growth, learning, and self-discovery. Set the bar for yourself. Channel your competitive energy to meet your standards and expectations.
2. The real world rewards those who get stuff done
While having goals and intentions is important, the real world tends to value and reward people who move beyond planning and actually take steps to implement their ideas and plans.
The real world is driven by progress and achieving goals. People who consistently deliver results, solve problems, and move things forward are naturally valued in most fields. They make things happen, push boundaries, and contribute to real progress.
“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” — David Allen
People who can “get stuff done” are often seen as proactive. They take initiative, identify opportunities, and tackle challenges head-on.
This mindset is highly valued in many aspects of life, including the workplace and personal relationships. In many contexts, what ultimately matters is the outcome. The real world tends to recognise and reward people who can deliver tangible results.
3. What got you here won’t get you there
Winners leverage multiple skill sets.
Proficiency in a few related skills makes you more adaptable and capable of learning new things quickly. You can easily pivot your skillset to fit changing demands and seize new opportunities.
For example, a strong writer with basic coding knowledge can create interactive content, while a data analyst with communication skills can effectively present their findings.
“Build your skills not your resume.” — Sheryl Sandberg
Life is a continual progression of skill stacking. The relevant skills you learn today can be used not just tomorrow but for the rest of your life. Instead of mastering one skill, build a skillset.
Learn and combine new, even unrelated skills to make yourself more efficient or valuable. Explore and delve deeper into skills that spark your curiosity. Your intrinsic motivation will fuel your life and make it more rewarding.
4. Life is a long game — your strategy (habits, decisions and choices) determines how long you last
All players die after about 29,000 days or 80 years.
Your daily choices shape where you end up — happy, healthy, fulfilled — or miserable. If you apply the right rules at every stage of your life, you might last a little longer.
“Life is a challenge, meet it! Life is a dream, realize it! Life is a game, play it! Life is love, enjoy it! “ — Sathya Sai Baba
Choosing healthy habits like exercise and proper nutrition can influence physical and mental well-being, while nurturing deeper relationships and pursuing meaningful activities can do wonders for your emotional fulfilment.
The goal is not necessarily to add years to our lives but life to our years. The choices we make, big and small, are how we live.
5. Happiness is being responsible for your own experience
Happiness means taking ownership. That means active engagement with your life. Making deliberate choices about your thoughts, habits, and actions also means setting goals, pursuing your interests, cultivating relationships, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
If you expect others to make you happy, you will always be disappointed. Being responsible means not blaming others for your unhappiness.
“Until you take ownership for your life, you will always be chasing happiness.” — Sean Stephenson
The all-important truth about happiness is this: your happiness is your personal responsibility. Instead of looking to get happy from a person, job, or external factor, view relationships and work as outlets for happiness and focus on how you can give more happiness. “Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life,” says author Mandy Hale. Everything outside yourself can help you improve in life, but they are not the means to your happiness.
Free read on Medium
These 15 Truths Will Teach You More Than Reading 100 Books
Transformation takes time. But in a few minutes, these words can alter your reality of life. Most of our “reality” is a collection of beliefs, mindsets, and experiences we’ve come to accept as the only truth. But we defend them like our lives depend on them. They don’t. We apply common knowledge without ever asking the most dangerous question. Is this the only truth? Most of it isn’t. Author Stephen R. Covey was right, “We see the world, not as it is, but as we are — or, as we are conditioned to see it.” I think most of our suffering comes from believing things that are simply not true for our personal path.
A concept worth understanding
The difference between expressive and receptive language skills. I frequently come across people who can talk a great game. So articulate! So impressive! It took me a long time to realise these same people often don’t listen well. They struggle to grasp subtext, to synthesise new and old material, to absorb analogies and symbols, and to retain what you tell them. Their receptive language skills are as underdeveloped as their expressive language skills are stellar.
A piece of advice worth passing on
“If you want a new world, start making it right now, in whatever you are doing.” This is the best advice I ever had, it came from Brian Eno. If you imagine the world you would like to be in and start making objects, systems and collaborations that belong to that world, that world comes into being.
A question worth asking
‘What would it take for me to die with no regrets?’ It sounds like a cliché, but I try to live my life by this question. It helps me filter out decisions, both long and short term, while balancing between the two.
Get my new books
A short book on how to live. What do I do with my one wild, short, and strange life? Philosophers tried to answer it. So did psychologists, monks, scientists, poets and many thinkers. I’ve read their work. And summarised their wisdom in this book. The book leans on the wisdom of great minds who have figured out how to live. Get a free copy (or donate what you want).
The Little Book of Life Rules They Forgot to Teach. No one prepared us for life. Adulting is emotional maturity. Think of this book as a series of conversations on building a better relationship with yourself to transcend the chaos of life. Get a free copy (or donate what you want).
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Thomas’s free recommendation zone
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▶ Discover newsletters: Best newsletters for life and career.
Together with SonderMind.
The best hack to success? Better mental health. SonderMind is the leading all-in-one mental wellness solution that offers affordable therapy and psychiatry services. Self-care content like guided meditations. And AI-enhanced features like daily reflections.
Try SonderMind today.
Until the next one,
Be Well.
Thomas
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.– Walter Elliot
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loved it thomas
expecting more such stuff