Carl Jung: Beware of your shadow self
Author Paul Millerd on the pathless path to a great life.
Postanly Weekly is a reader-supported smarter living newsletter. To support my work, you can upgrade to a paid subscription for $7 per month or $40 for a year. With a modest contribution, you’re not only helping keep Postanly Weekly going, you also get free instant access access to Thinking Toolbox (mental models for life) and Mental Wealth Toolbox (practical concepts for smarter decisions).
NEW: The little book of stoic wisdom (for free or pay what you want). The very best of stoic teachers, condensed into a short ebook. Everything I've learned from the stoics. It's practical, short and easy to apply. A stoic life manual that might change your approach to life.
Enhance your learning!
This is a summary of thought leaders and publications. Productivity, finance, healthy-living, self-improvement, career growth and more.
Top publications readers are loving. The most valuable newsletters—trusted by thousands and proven to deliver insights that matter.
The must-reads to keep you ahead. Take control of your learning.
Ever snapped at someone and later wondered why? Ever felt irrational envy or rage? That’s your shadow at work. Carl Jung, a renowned Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, called this the “shadow self.” According to Jung, the shadow is the dark, unconscious side of our personality that we often repress or deny.
This shadow self can lead us down a destructive path if we are unaware of its existence and learn to integrate it into our lives.
Jung believed that the shadow self is not inherently negative or evil but a natural and necessary part of human nature.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is,” Jung said.
Deny it, and it controls you. Face it, and you grow. I learned this the hard way.
Jung believed that our shadow selves contain our repressed emotions, thoughts, desires, insecurities and fears. These things are often repressed because we are afraid of being judged or rejected by others if they were to know about them.
However, if we repress our shadow, it can eventually manifest in many ways through projection, where we place our repressed qualities onto others. It can also be expressed through unconscious behaviour, where we act out our shadow aspects without realising it.
For example, people who consistently deny their anger issues may constantly find themselves in conflict with others.
Carl Jung explains:
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness’s of other people. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Your shadow self can lead to self-sabotage, relationship conflicts, and other problems. If you don’t confront, make conscious or deal with it, it can wreak havoc on your life.
It can also create a split in your consciousness.
But how do we confront and integrate our shadow selves?
That’s the question Jung tried to answer in this thought-provoking book, The Psychology of the Unconscious.
The first key to dealing with your shadow self is to acknowledge it.
That means accepting them for what they are and learning to express them in a healthy way.
It involves recognising your biases, prejudices, and blind spots and being open to feedback from others.
“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses,” Jung said.
We must also examine our dreams, fantasies, and personal creative expressions, which may provide clues to our shadow selves.
It’s a difficult process.
It requires a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths and face aspects of ourselves that we may have been avoiding.
But the rewards can be immense — increased self-awareness, greater emotional intelligence, and a stronger sense of purpose and meaning in life.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate,” observes Carl Jung.
When we integrate our shadow, we can accept ourselves for who we are, both our light and dark sides.
We are also less likely to project our shadow onto others, which can lead to conflict and misunderstanding.
You are more likely to accept others’ shadow selves if you know what your own darkness is.
Once we have identified our shadow selves, Jung proposed integrating them into our conscious personality. You can do that by accepting your fears and shortcomings and using them as a source of growth and transformation.
Balance your conscious and unconscious selves.
You can confront your shadow self through introspection and self-reflection. You must be willing to look honestly at yourself and acknowledge your flaws and shortcomings. Journaling is a great way to explore your thoughts and feelings, including those you may not want to face.
When you write about your shadow aspects, allow yourself to be honest and unfiltered. And be willing to take responsibility for your actions and their impact on others. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.
You can also express your shadow self through art. When you create art (it can anything that helps you get your ideas out), you allow yourself to let go of your inhibitions and express yourself freely. Some people use drawing, illustration, painting, building things or writing to express positive and negative emotions.
What are the things that you push away or deny? What are the things that you are ashamed of? Jung observed that integrating our shadow selves can lead to personal growth and whole self-transformation.
When we are aware of our shadow selves, we can better understand our motivations and behaviours, make better choices, and live more fulfilling lives. It requires courage, honesty, and self-reflection but can ultimately lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
When we can integrate our shadow selves, we no longer live in denial of who we really are. It can lead to a greater sense of freedom and peace of mind.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are,” says Jung.
Acknowledging, accepting and making our shadow selves conscious is a process that can lead to more compassionate and understanding relationships.
It is a process of ongoing discovery and growth.
But it is a journey worth your time.
Jesuit priest Anthony de Mello on doing what grips our soul
“You must cultivate activities that you love. You must discover work that you do, not for its utility, but for itself, whether it succeeds or not, whether you are praised for it or not, whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not, whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul? Find them out, cultivate them, for they are your passport to freedom and to love.”
Source: The Way to Love
Author Matt Haig on choosing yourself
“Don’t envy things you wouldn’t actually want. Don’t absorb criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice. Don’t fear missing parties you would probably want to leave. Don’t worry about fitting in. Be your own tribe. Don’t argue with people who will never understand you. Don’t believe anyone has it all figured out. Don’t imagine there is an amount of money or success or fame that could insulate you from pain. Don’t think there is a type of face or job or relationship that safeguards happiness. Don’t say yes to things you wish you had the confidence to say no to. Don’t worry if you do.”
Source: The Comfort Book
Author Paul Millerd on the pathless path to a great life
“On the pathless path, the goal is not to find a job, make money, build a business, or achieve any other metric. It’s to actively and consciously search for the work that you want to keep doing. This is one of the most important secrets of the pathless path. With this approach, it doesn’t make sense to chase any financial opportunity if you can’t be sure that you will like the work. What does make sense is experimenting with different kinds of work, and once you find something worth doing, working backward to build a life around being able to keep doing it.”
Source: The Pathless Path: Imagining a New Story For Work and Life
A question worth asking:
Before you ask, “What should I do today?” Ask yourself, “What should I remove today?” It’s how I create space for all the things that help me closer to the outcome I want.
Download my NEW books (for free or pay what you want)
The Little book of Carl Jung Wisdom — The very best of Jung, condensed into a short ebook. Jung’s ideas have improved my relationship with myself, and I hope they’re useful to you as well.
The little book of spiritual wisdom —The very best of spiritual teachers, condensed into a short ebook. Practical ideas that might change your approach to life.
The little book on how to live in an age of collapse — How to take control of your sanity in an insanely uncertain world. The best of great minds condensed into a short ebook. It’s how I’m bracing myself for the next four years.
Personal growth tools I recommend
Brain food, delivered daily — Every day Refind analyses thousands of articles and send you only the best, tailored to your interests. Loved by 530,181 curious minds. Subscribe for free.
Free your newsletters from the inbox — Meco is a distraction-free space for reading newsletters outside the inbox. Read all your awesome newsletters on a single app. Get started, it’s Free.
Until Next Week,
Be Well.
Thomas
Postanly Weekly is a reader-supported smarter living newsletter. To support my work, you can upgrade to a paid subscription for $7 per month or $40 for a year. With a modest contribution, you’re not only helping keep Postanly Weekly going, you also get free instant access access to Thinking Toolbox (mental models for life) and Mental Wealth Toolbox (practical concepts for smarter decisions).
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” — Epicurus
Ah, yes. The shadow self. That awkward +1 at every life event, standing in the corner, sipping on a questionable metaphorical cocktail of repressed fears and unchecked rage.
Jung says we must integrate it—which, let’s be honest, sounds like inviting the cryptic, brooding anti-hero of a TV drama to move in permanently. (“No, Shadow-Me, we are NOT naming the WiFi ‘SelfSabotage_2.0.’”)
But here’s the real kicker: What if the real danger isn’t the shadow itself… but the stories we tell about it?
What if some of our “shadow” isn’t actually darkness but outdated programming we never questioned?
What if society’s definition of a “good person” is just a clever way to keep us predictable and small?
And most importantly… what’s the difference between integrating your shadow and romanticizing it? (‘Cause I feel like my angsty teen phase leaned way too hard into “I’m just misunderstood.”)
Excuse me while I go journal my entire existence into mild panic and clarity.